There are two kinds of first dates: awkward ones, and ones where time flies and before you know it, you’ve been nestled in the corner of a bar for four full hours talking about anything and everything. Here, find twenty queries for your first encounter that will help you get to know your date, discern your compatibility, and spark engaging conversation. Another tip to keep in mind: “You want to ask open-ended questions that encourage full responses rather than short yes or no answers.” And don’t ignore his or her body language when they answer, either: Here’s how to Read Your Partner’s Mind with These 10 Body Language Tells.
And while dating experts agree that showing up at drinks, coffee, or dinner with a list of questions prepared feels too stiff (it’s not a job interview, after all), questions are also an inevitable part of any first date. These are all follow up questions that can keep the dialogue going while you get to know each other.
“How your date answers this question can reveal a great deal about whether they are well-rounded and enjoy many interests or are just focused on work,” Derrichs says.
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“This is a great question that is an opener for a conversation that can go down many roads,” explains Julienne Derichs, a licensed clinical professional counselor practicing in the Chicago area. “Comparing dating war stories it’s fun and usually results in lots of laughs, thereby minimizing the awkwardness of a first date.” The biggest thing you want to avoid on a first date is making it feel like an interrogation, and this question allows you to be casual and still get a feel for who your date is beyond what their dating profile (or the friend who set you up) tells you.
“If someone still parties a lot, seems to have too many plans (if you ask them about more weekends and seem to get the same response), or just spends most weekends working, it may be that they are not relationship ready,” says Stef Safran, matchmaker and founder of Stef and The City.
“Is this a person who is very family-oriented and heads home for every Memorial day, baptism, and bat mitzvah?
” asks Justin Lioi, a men’s mental health and relationship expert.
” and “How long have you known your closest friend?